Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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