i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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