i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
