Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
