Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
