# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am spending my child support on dildos
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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