I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
