Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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