Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
