Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
