I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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