Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
