I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
