I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
