some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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