Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize