Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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