i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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