Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
