Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
