hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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