so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
