I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
