if you like me you must not know who I am
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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