I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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