The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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