Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think brook has ever known best
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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