I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
