Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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