oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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