We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
