was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
