well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
