he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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