Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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