new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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