So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize