i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
