Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
