My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
