is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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