I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
