this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
