I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
