Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
