I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
