Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
