Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
