Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize