Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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