Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
