Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
