I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
