my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
