I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
