watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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