You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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