im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
