direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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