she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
