I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
