Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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