Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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