Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
