omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize